Escape from 'eternal pain and suffering'
by Peacemaker35
Summary: A man with troubles only possible to be touched upon by the greatest lengths of human imagination returns from the solution of his present problem, but is now focusing on the problems of the past.
1. Default Chapter

Escaping 'Eternal Pain and Suffering'

These characters are in no way products of my own mind, they are characters from the anime/manga Trigun. That said, let the story begin.

The man who formally wore the symbolic red coat returned to the small village, 200 isles from the town of L.R, Knives slung upon his shoulder, and his S.E.E.D.S outfit dawned, the clothing he wore under his coat— the coat which he left behind.

"Vash!" Meryl ran to Vash, happiness reflecting in her eyes, and obviously shown in her expression, then glancing to Knives, she looked at Vash curiously. "Who's that?"

"Knives..."

"Oh...oh my" Meryl gasped and nearly fainted at the mention of that name, after all Vash had told her a few months ago.

"Yes...My brother..."

"But...Why...Why...." She couldn't complete the sentence, but Vash, knowing her rather well and reading the expression on her face , answered the unasked question.

"I had to....It was...Rem's last request..."

"I...I see..."

"Yes... Now can I put him somewhere?" he made an exaggerated expression of exhaustion "He's all dead weight!"

Meryl Chuckled slightly

"Yeah, over there" She motioned to a house "We were able to...well....I'll explain later...you need rest"

"Yeah, thanks Meryl" He smiled

"No problem" She returned his smile, happy just in his presence, though she didn't admit it to him just yet, she watched him tread through darkness into the house and sighed, finally able to be relaxed that he was safe.

Vash walked to the house, placed Knives upon a bed, examining him carefully, checking for any signs of consciousness—he found none. Finishing this task, he was able to relax for once, able to be at peace...to think... He was asleep after five seconds.

He opened his eyes, the sun pouring from the small windows, crudely made from wood and latched onto the brick lining by some village carpenter. As he searched the room, he found Meryl cooking donuts, he smiled inwardly at this— She knew his favorite food...she knew him well...

"Heya, Meryl!" He said, walking in happily.

"Oh, you're awake? How did you sleep?"

"Oh, I don't even remember closing my eyes..."

"Yeah, I came in and was about to say goodnight, then I noticed you were asleep"

"Oh" he chuckled "Sorry about that"

"No, it's alright, you've had a long few weeks..."

"Yeah..." His mood darkened slightly, but not without notice of Meryl

"I'm sorry...I didn't..."

"No, It's alright..."

"Oh! By the way, I was going to tell you Milly and I got the money to buy this house, she finally struck water! We weren't rich...but we could finally buy this house"

"Where is Milly, anyway?"

"Oh, she was watching you come back... Then she went off in the direction you came...I think I heard her say something about it being so full of mercy..."

"I see...She went to go get wolfwood's weapon..."

"Oh...I see now...Hey, where's your coat?"

He sighed softly, the expression of a weary mind

"I realized...that I shouldn't live by anyone's ideals but my own...I mean...I love Rem" Meryl Flinched, and Vash, catching this quickly added, "She was like a mother to me, you know?" He watched Meryl smile, acknowledging that she knew what he did

"Yeah, I understand..."

"But, one must set their own rules... I'll find my own path..."

"That's good Vash..." She smiled happily

"Yeah... Meryl, would you mind if I went for a walk to clear my thoughts?"

"Oh, no...not at all... Just be back by the time the donuts are done, okay?"

He smiled

"Sure"

She returned the smile, once more

"Okay, see ya then, Vash"

He walked out of the building, walking with no destination, except for the recesses of his mind.

The peacemaker looked up at the sky, sitting perched atop the hill he once stood before he brought back Knives, enveloped in his thoughts.

_Wolfwood...I'm sorry... I wasn't...I wasn't strong enough to save you....I kept trying to show you my way of thinking....I kept trying....I kept trying to make you believe what I believed....But....I...I should've just...shown you that...there was an alternative...not...not force you to take it....I'm sorry, Wolfwood....I'm sorry..._

_"You ignoramus!" A voice came from the sky_

"Wolfwood?" Vash asked, half heartedly believing it

No voice answered

"Wolfwood?!" Vash repeated, now sure he heard a voice...

Once more, no one answered

"Wolfwood....I'm sorry...I..." He stopped... and realized what he had heard... "He...he doesn't want me to feel sorry for myself... That's just like him" Vash chuckled softly

A single tear rolled its way over his cheeks, and as the small droplet fell upon the earth and moistened it, he got to his feet and headed back for donuts.

It's been awhile since I've written a Fanfic, so I'm anxious for reviews, criticism, praise, what ever you need to say, say it. Thanks


	2. The ticket to the future is always upen

Disclaimer: I do not, in any way, shape, or form, own these characters. They are from the mind of the Creator of Trigun –bows to him- Praise! Ahem...In any case, let the show go on.

Chapter 2: The ticket to the future is always open

Days passed as Vash waited for his brother's recovery so he could talk to him. He walked to the cliff, which he'd sat at for so many hours, just thinking and looking at the sunset. Then one day, as he walked back into town, he felt a peculiar presence about his new home, not fear, no.... it was something more sinister. Suddenly it came to him: KNIVES!

He ran back to the house, instinctively reaching for his pistol; the one which he had left with Wolfwood's Cross Punisher back in Demitree. He stopped and felt around for it, at first not realizing he didn't have it, and then realizing Knives also had no weapon, he continued to the house.

He entered and immediately saw Meryl sitting on the other side of the room as Knives slowly regained consciousness. She turned and set her eyes upon Vash.

"Vash, he just started moving...and..." A hint of fear was in her voice from what Vash had told her.

"Well, can you make him some soup, please?" His tone gave her reassurance, and her fear quickly faded.

"Oh, sure. Coming right up" She flashed a smile and got to work as Vash sat on the bed, adjacent to his brother.

"Knives?"

"Vash...I.... Why didn't you kill me? I knew you couldn't do it! Coward!"

Vash turned to Meryl

"Meryl, can you step out of the room for awhile? I think Milly should be back soon...The walk shouldn't be that far..."

"Yeah, besides...she took Wolfwood's bike..."

"Oh, she must've found something interesting along the way... "

"Yeah, Well...I'm going to go for a walk now, bye" She waved and quickly left the room to the brothers.

"Couldn't stand to let her see you, little brother? Are we going to have a fight?" A hint of mockery in his voice.

"Knives, this is between us, no need to get others involved..."

"Right, right... You've always been against harming those pathetic wor-"

"That's enough! Knives... You've been swayed with all your notions of what humans are... Steve was the one who started this... If I would've thought this would happen...I would've..."

"You would've what? Stopped him? Killed him, Vash?" His tone became more condescending at each passing moment

"Knives, not all humans are like that! You can't just go around killing whenever you feel the impulse!"

"Oh, can't I?"

"Drop it, you can't. Why do you have to keep killing all of them? Haven't you shed enough blood? When will it be over? When you finally take all of them to their graves? When you are all alone in this world? Because, I will not accompany you to this paradise you wish to create, Knives. If there is such a place, I will not let it be just to us alone. I'd kill myself before that."

"Wasn't it you who said, oh so boldly, little brother 'I disapprove of suicide more than anything'?"

"Yes, I did."

"You're a hypocrite"

"You just refuse to believe what the obvious truth is."

"I haven't been wrong all this time! It was you who were wrong! Trying to save those worthless pieces of garbage who will inevitably lead to their own annihilation!"

"Perhaps they will, perhaps they won't. In any case, I give them a choice, Knives. I won't take their lives, but I let them see what they're doing to themselves. If they choose, they can create their own paradise for everyone, if not, then they choose to suffer...in any case I'm always here to help them and always will be."

"Let them decide, you say...they have decided! They've locked themselves in their own fate! You cannot save them every time!"

"No, you're right...I can't... But I'm willing to try... I'm willing to give them as many chances as I can."

"But why!"

"Because, Knives...the ticket to the future is always open...you can change no matter how much evil you've done, or how much good. You always have that power, Knives."

"If the ticket to the future is always open, as you say, then you'd let me have my second chance if I had decided to change my ways, according to your logic."

"If I wouldn't give to a second chance, would I have brought you back all the way here, where those I love are?"

"You know I could kill every person here, still... I could kill your precious Meryl, this Milly you speak of, and every other townsperson here"

"I don't believe you will"

"What makes you so sure that you'd put everyone and everything you love on the line?"

"Because, if you did that, you'd have nothing left. You'd maybe go to your own personal paradise, but what good is paradise alone? You'd might as well dig a hole and make that your paradise for all it's worth. Without humans you kill, you'd go mad. Without anyone to talk to, you'd kill yourself. I know you would. So why bring yourself to that? Why be lonely? Why not give up killing all the people and just see what it's like to live with them? Take up my path, brother."

"Vash... You fool...you damn fool...." Knives sighed and lied back on his bed, exhausted and his wounds now beginning to throb with intense pain as he finally paid attention to his body.

"Rest, Knives...rest and soon you'll be able to decide what to do..."

"What ever you say, Vash...Whatever you say..."With that, he drifted off into a deep sleep, the crevices of his mind being filled with only his thoughts...his body finally relaxing.

End of Chapter 2. Read and review, please.

-Vash


	3. A place with nothing but peaceful days

Disclaimer: Yeah, not sure about them being in every chapter...but just to be on the safe side... These aren't my characters, and I don't claim they are...in fact...I disclaim them...Thus, this is a disclaimer...they belong to the creator of Trigun. Thanks

Chapter 3: A place with nothing but peaceful days...

Every day, Knives was fed soup and carefully tended to until his wounds healed. Finally he was able to stand. And with this he walked slowly to the spot where Vash stood thinking always, the cliff where the memories lay.

"The ticket to the future...is always open..." He sighed and got up, walking around town some more until he heard a cry of terror. Quickly he rushed to see what the problem was, not fueled by the will to kill nor the will to save, merely curiosity

As he arrived, he saw what it was; a group of local thugs were having a war. Knives pondered on what to do, finding no solution he rushed back to the house to tell Vash.

He entered the doorway to see Vash putting on a holster and an old revolver, Meryl was weeping.

"Vash! You can't! I can't let you do this again! You've given up that life! You aren't anywhere near in the condition to fight and you know it!"

"Condition?" Knives asked, fear slowly rising

"I...have a small heart problem...nothing really..."

"NOTHING! Vash! The Doctor said you're lucky to be alive! He said even the slightest exertion could...could...."

"Meryl, he's fine...with being a plant...he has the ability to heal any wound and is near immortal... But...he still shouldn't fight like this..."

"And what do you suggest?" Vash asked

"That I take your place"

"What! You aren't ready...you can't decide whether to-"

"Then let this be my final test! I want to show you I can change, little brother!"

Meryl had already gained a respect for Knives, and knew he had changed. But now, she realized to what extent he had changed.

"Alright...but promise me...that you won't kill anyone..."

"Right, Vash..." Knives dawned the holster and gun that Vash had begun to wear and rushed back into town.

He arrived finding nothing but chaos and now no one was injured. He knew how Vash did it... Slowly, he walked between them all, not realizing that Vash had one advantage when he walked through them; his speed was greater from practicing this multiple times. So, as Knives walked, he was immediately hit with many bullets, he drew his gun in reflex and fired at the heads of all those he could target in his stupor. He gazed upon the bodies of the dead, slowly realizing what he had done.

"No..." he whispered, pain rising in him. He had finally earned Vash's trust...He was finally his true brother...they were brothers... But Vash would never trust him after this... He would never believe he had changed. Knives glanced at the chamber. _One shot left_. Surely they would not let him leave alive now. He was not fast enough to dodge all of the bullets as Vash could. They would fire upon him and he would be dead within moments. He knew all of this. Slowly, he raised the machine of death one final time, and with a deafening shot, he had escaped.

Vash ran into the city, hearing all of the gunfire and knowing instinctively what the gun he had given Knives sounded like; he followed the stench of death. _Damn him! I told him not to kill anyone! He hasn't changed at all!!! DAMN HIM! _It was then that Vash reached the site of the battle. The bodies of five men lay scattered about. Then, he noticed that there was another man who had blonde hair, just like his...

"NO!!!!!!!!!!" He screamed, looking at the position of the gun in his hand, he knew what had happened.

Slowly, he walked to his brother and wrapped his arms around him, sobbing as the crimson liquid stained his white shirt and drenched his hands and face.

"Knives.... no...." he uttered through broken breaths. "It wasn't supposed to end this way...You.... you shouldn't have gone...I knew you weren't ready....I...I'm sorry...."

He picked up his brother and carried him slowly back to his room, the liquid, which was the color of the geranium Rem loved, the geranium, which symbolized determination and courage, drained out of his irreversible wound.

As he laid him upon his bed, Meryl and Milly looked on, tears streaming from their faces and their shoulders shaking from sobs suppressed. Vash looked to Milly, and then to Meryl, then back to Knives; there was nothing he could do. He walked to the shower and drenched himself In the water, attempting to wash away both the blood of his brother and the guilt of his words; and for a split second, he thought of drowning himself. These thoughts were pushed away as he stepped out of the shower and walked into the bedroom to once more stare at his dead brother. He sat on the adjacent bed as before but now softly stroking Knives' hair.

"I'm sorry...I'm so sorry Knives...I...I shouldn't have tried to...I...I..." He laid his face in his hands as he sobbed, and slowly Meryl sat by him, wrapping her arms around the man she loved, wishing to take away all his pain, but knowing she couldn't she silently let him cry onto her shoulder, his tears drenching her shirt.

"Meryl....I shouldn't...I shouldn't have pushed him...It...it was just like Wolfwood....I..."

She stroked his head, her fingers running through his hair soothingly

"Hush, love... It's all right...He chose his own path and that's all you can ask for, right? "

"But...he...he thought I wouldn't forgive him...so...he...he shot himself..."

"Vash...you can't control his actions...you never could... What happened could not have been changed..."

"But...it could have...there are infinite paths to the future...Rem said so..."

"But you believe your own logic now. You said so, right?"

"I..."

"Right?"

"Yes...yes that's right..."

"He...he left...because of his own logic... you couldn't have changed that...."

"But...I could've....I could've told him I accepted him...that...I loved him despite what he did to Rem..."

"Then tell him"

He turned and stood over Knives, Meryl holding his hand and squeezing it gently, reassuring him that she was there for him.

"Knives...I'm sorry... I didn't mean for you to die... I would have forgiven you...if you asked me...I already forgave you for Rem...I hope...you can finally rest now, big brother..."

Meryl stood up and led Vash out of the room, never letting go of his hand.

Later that week, a funeral was held for Knives and Vash gave the only Eulogy, knowing him more than anyone else could have.

"Knives was a gentle soul, despite any actions he took, any pain he caused, he never wanted anything but peace. He couldn't find the means to achieve this peace in his life. Though he tried with numerous attempts. Then, as his life was about to reach its peak, and peace was to arise, it was taken from him. So, let it be known, that Knives the brother, of I. Let it be known, that he tried to create a paradise in life, and let us hope he has achieved it in death. Rest in peace, my brother."

Everyone clapped, it was a small funeral, but those who attended were greatly appreciated by Vash.

Later that year, Vash and Meryl were wed. And not long after, Meryl Gave birth to a beautiful boy. With blonde hair and green eyes. They named him Nicholas Knives Saverem. And Milly became the Godmother of Nicholas, tending to him as if he were her own son. She never forgot Wolfwood or Knives. None of them did. They all remembered everything in vivid detail. From Dankin town, to the town they lived in, they never forgot a thing. They told Nicholas of all the things they'd seen, and left some parts until he was old enough to hear them. It was three years after Nicholas was born that they had another child, a girl with brown hair and blue eyes. They named her Remembrance. The name suited her, as she was the carrier of their stories, as they all got older. Vash called them both by the people who they'd been named after every once in awhile. They didn't mind. Nicholas liked the sound of Wolfwood. And Remembrance liked the sound of Rem. And that, as they say, is that.

The end, obviously. Read and Review, please. Thanks.

-Vash


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